Sleep to Me

Three hearts more entwined with mine than ever I guessed or knew

There was no place

alone to sit my coffee cup and cake

A table, two chairs, one taken

-You mind-

-Nope, no-

We spoke, I recall not one word

A laughter and the rhythm to her voice

the shape and taut skin in the knuckles of her hands

her lips red wrapped round a curse

the tilt to her neck below the ears

the blurs of smudge tired light eyes

-Walk with me-

before that street’s corner

she tipped her mouth to kiss and

I dipped my head raising her shirt

stole her breast a taste, her warm and bitter salt

her rushing warmth

swinging even each the others hip

we walked on and I could have made a scarf of her

she clung and flowed off of me so.

This hotel’s room looks to the sea of Tamarama and Bronte beyond.

Can’t sleep…sleep won’t show

I call to you

talk with myself

sleep won’t show

talk to myself

I can’t explain…try…cannot…try, I try.

Bothersome bothering bothersome, unlooked for

I see her, she’s not there

feel her, here in my stomach,

my stomach’s empty…I feel her moving around inside me

warming me,

I remember and I remember

the corner of her neck, the yielding shy and sure

and I remember and remember

the hum of her belly and the sweep of her arms

her head tilted under mine

the texture of her skin,

of her back

the trust in her embrace

the fear and hurt of her

her quickness and rushing warmth.

I call to her when sleep will not cover me

I reach for the touch of her when morning stirs to wake me

I know her…I believe in her

she’s a stranger to me

not strange

I know her

I don’t know her at all.

I feel her, see

here in my stomach

and here in the shade of my fingers

and I see her-

here behind mine eyes

and the hum

the hum of her pressed to me

Do you know…

the hum of her and the frailty

Talk, talk with myself till sleep came sideways

and I woke in this rented room, the light of night still on.

Days up and I walk a concrete path between the houses

and the sea, no others eyes passes me

I walk and conjure my friend’s dos to bounce her walk about me

I walk out of a sleep shy night into a sun blasted morning

and I feel you

do you know I feel you

I want to ring you…I don’t

call you…I don’t

Push kisses into you

roam over you

make a laughter far away inside you

have you blushed breathless

catch you up

unfurl you

growl thro out you

I see you, see you pressed flat and soaking

wanting no more kisses

wanting more kisses

wanting no more kisses

I watch you in sleep

sticky and full

your hand puts me inside you

and I move in on to you

wet and wet and wet.

Be still

hush be still

your breathing out and back, low and hum

arms and legs damp and pointed

the shrubbery of you

the day’s heat and dripping rains.

Beside me

at back of me

branched over me

flung long all the skin and limbs of you

knotted here, plained there, swallows now dip and pool

the breaths of you cover me

I fold my heart to pump along

my thumb and your neat creased fingers

in among the fingers and callused traveled pad of my right hand

honey, twinkling sticky muck

I drop to the scald and wet of you.

Sleep to me

The smell of me on the breadth of your heart

my neck so kissed

chance blessed in this embrace

I sleep to you.

I will kiss you every morning and hug you till you are full

put laughter in your eyes and at the corners of your lovely mouth

love you, till your body sighed and your skin shone

encourage and support you

fight and win anything or one who hurt or tries to hurt you

give you stuff you have not got, and show to you

what little I know or learn

make such days and nights for you

you’ll rush thro sleep to wake

build for you a place for you to hang your things

go to your church and kneel with you

care for and love you in sickness and in health

blow and blow the ashes from your heart and give to you

a love that laughs and is strong as strong

and warm and tender and wicked.

Late to the morning I woke

the paste of her gummed and clung to me

I called for her…I called more

she’d left

written words for me

- I am twenty nine years old, many boys and men inside of me,

Some I welcomed,

more I did not, in they came with trickery and cunning

the rest used force and terror.

My friend, my love

I have no memory of the words you spoke that

lent me into your embrace, here in this street, your right

hand lifted my shirt and dip you did your mouth, took my breast

quick as swallows fall.

My love, my friend, many before you

My love, my friend

I wanted you, puddle for you in the inside of me

My love, my friend, listen I tell you, I tell to you

You, my love, my friend, are the first to make love to me

I have stolen from you

words and trust

you fed me your heart thro your mouth and cock

I washed over you, you drank from me

my love, my friend I have betrayed you.

At rest this night a stretch from sleep

I pick over this corpse,

one short time more.

This, our corpse is laid

dreadful worms of past.

I remember…I must remember

journeys do end in finish

voyages stop

amputated limbs round to stump…

Hush then…hush

inside the alone flat of night

a promise and wish

and frightened hope that tomorrow and after…

no matter…

I extract this corpse, a dull weight that’s been my familiar

I wish this amputation complete.

Knife…light…just so I evolve.

I smash each chair, table, cup and every plate and saucer

first in rage

then careful, cracking and wrenching wood off nails

Bewildered, more and more lonely than a lunatic.

I love her and her image I bite my hand

kneeling on this houses’ cement floor naked in debris

her fine weather dress split open off my shoulders,

shards of crockery and glad sliced my feet and knees swollen

bleeding and grieving.

Can’t find you

Flicking at my memory to disappearing faces

I remember and I remember

I cry and walk away

I hug the walls of empty rooms and cry

weep and walk.

I remember back and cannot find one moment of ease, of

comfort, of warmth

I moan and tremble a stretch from sleep

ill at ease

darkness stalking me

death’s breath on my neck, on the small of my back

behind my knees.

I lie in beds of rented rooms

spiders hum busy webs

I clench my teeth and ball my fists

water thunders out my eyes

I watch my body glow with hunger

eyes grown huge in my retreating face

her handsome head tilted up to mine

the heat of her inner arm above the wrist

one embrace

one kiss…trust me

she left.

This love set hard, spread cold, concreted shut and death

down and dirty clicks along,

Too far…you have gone too far

Plucked the dawn from my sky

Left me here

a black Eskimo out of season.

Three hearts more entwined with mine than ever I guessed or knew